WROTE FOLLOWING COLUMN ON OCT. 13, 2008
(This is NOT the comedy version; this list is a plan that is roughly in recommended chronological order)
10. Pretend Sarah Palin doesn’t exist (Dump her if it’s legally possible at this late date).
9. Broadcast a television commercial that consists of him looking into the camera and praising Barack Obama’s intellect, character, temperament, and leadership potential (I’m serious).
8. Pledge to only broadcast commercials that consist of him talking directly to Americans about serious issues.
7. Declare victory in Iraq and pledge to move troops to Afghanistan and Pakistan to chase Osama Bin-Laden.
6. Drop out of the Republican Party and pledge to govern as an independent. Dare Obama to do the same.
5. Pledge to formulate a bipartisan Cabinet with an equal number of ex-Democrats, ex-Republicans, and independents. All Cabinet officials and ambassadors would be required to drop out of their party. Dare Obama to make the same pledge.
4. Pledge to nominate one liberal Supreme Court justice for every conservative nominee and make the same pledge for lower-court justices. Dare Obama to do the same.
3. Broadcast a series of television commercials about his bipartisan record of accomplishments in the U.S. Senate and his anti-GOP viewpoints.
2. Broadcast a commercial asking Obama to be specific about his plans for spending cuts and change and daring him to announce a position that isn’t identical to the traditional Democratic position.
1. Just before Election Day, ask Americans for their votes after contrasting his record with someone who has not done much for his constituents during his short public service career.
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